I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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