Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
