yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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