you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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