so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
