Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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