Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Boobs speak an international language.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
