Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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