i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize