Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
