I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If I die, sorry about rent.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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