So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize