those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
