So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
