she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
