Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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