Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
