their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
