omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
