she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize