My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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