The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
