I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do you still have your period?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize