Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
