Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
