The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
