you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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