erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
