Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
