We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
