More tranny stories later!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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