ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
