you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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