I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
where are my eyebrows?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize