My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
