next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize