I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
