allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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