He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize