ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize