help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
