And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
