I look better un-naked...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
