what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
