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She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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