are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
