...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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