This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
