I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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