Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
