Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
