Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
