After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
