Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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