No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
