I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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