Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
