You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
