O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
