Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
