I want to have your abortion
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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