I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
