i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
