btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
