So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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