Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
